Obama moonlights as a stand-up comic

Saturday night Barack was at the Gridiron Club, and proved that he’s got a sense of humor (all quotes from Chicago Tribune):

• “‘I figure there’s nowhere to go from here but down,’ he said. ‘So tonight, I’m announcing my retirement from the United States Senate.’”


• On his mixed-race parents: He “raised up a mock National Enquirer headline declaring: ‘Obama’s shocking secret. He’s Strom Thurmond’s Love Child.’”


• On the DeLay Rule: “He said Illinois and Chicago were progressive and ahead of the times. Referring to the fact that House Republicans had passed a rule allowing leaders to stay in their jobs even if indicted, he said, ‘We had that years ago’ in Illinois.”


• Showing he’s a quick learner when it comes to foreign policy: “People from his father’s native Kenya were excited over his election, he said, thinking that would mean the building of billions of dollars in new roads, bridges, hospitals, and schools in their country…. ‘So I’ve tried to explain how it works these days,’ he said. ‘First comes the invasion, and then billions in aid.’”


• More foreign policy (the Ukraine election): “‘Well, President Bush said he wanted to export American-style democracy and, by God, I think it’s working.’”


• On his new status as the “it” politician: “He joked that he was dining with Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson in Los Angeles when Barbra Streisand called him on his cell phone. He said he told her, ‘The thing you can’t do is just get caught up in the hype.’”

• And on one of the famous lines from his DNC speech? “‘Well, here’s an update. Since the election, that gay couple I knew in the red states? They’ve moved back to the blue states.’”

Gotta love it.